I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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