umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
