This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
