I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I want to fling myself into the sun
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
