he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
