so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
