Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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