I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
