Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize