yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
