it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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