O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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