I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
