Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
