Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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