Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
