No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
