question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
