your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
