i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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