i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
