Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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