My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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