at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
