I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
