Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize