well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
