no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
