Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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