conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
