I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
