I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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