remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize