I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
