I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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