Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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