I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
