I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
