Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
