Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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