Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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