Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
