how can u be prego again
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
