Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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