Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
