We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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