is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
