Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You are a booty call, not a friend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
