There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
