so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
