He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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