well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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