I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
