And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
did you just send me my own nude
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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