there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
