Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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