ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
